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Internship Diary by Lindsey Mederich, IU Bloomington StudentThursday, May 19, 2005 As an advocate for community engagement at Hospitality House of Bloomington, I help hundreds of IU students connect their volunteer work to their classroom objectives. You will do well for many people by volunteering, but you will be performing charity and not undertaking philanthropy if you don't at least take the time to reflect on your experience and think about the root causes of the issue you are addressing with your service. I want to find ways to eradicate poverty—not just help those who are in poverty to live better during their lifetimes. This is why I undertook this internship. I knew it would push me to consider those root causes from a hands-on and scholarly point of view. Psychology is all about studying behavior. While some psychologists study animal behavior they only do so to hopefully learn more about the way humans behave through generalization. The Thai people have a unique culture and way of communicating. Their religious beliefs are so vastly different from those practiced in the United States. Through this internship, I hope I gain a greater understanding and appreciation for differences in culture. I also hope that as a result of my interaction with the Thai people, I will become a more compassionate and understanding person and clinician. My goal in life is to help people and to inspire them and give them hope. More specifically, I would like to help people medically by becoming a midwife, a physician's assistant, or a clinical psychologist. I am not totally sure which of these three roads I will pursue. I believe strongly that education is an essential component to creating healthy societies, so I plan to make education of my clients a large part of whatever position I pursue. Eventually, I would like to start a women's clinic in Thailand or work with existing clinics to empower women to start and raise healthy families. I also enjoy working in other developing countries. Wednesday, June 1, 2005 Jesus, I thank you for so many opportunities to fly! Every time I look out the window of an airplane, I receive a new revelation of who you are. When God created the world, he probably stood back, maybe to the distance I’m looking down from now, and he said it was good! God hears the thoughts of every human on the planet. He is constantly answering prayers, constantly whispering words in a thousand different languages from those he’s calling to himself, even if they aren’t listening. One of the articles I’m reading talked about how poor people know it’s unfair and unjust that they are poor and others aren’t and that the rich don’t often think about it. I wonder about it all the time! Why me? Why am I so blessed? I mean, I love God, but I certainly do not deserve the goodness, mercy, and blessings he has bestowed upon me! It’s even a privilege to be fortunate enough to have the resources to go help people in another country! Thank you, Jesus! Lord you’re so worthy of praise! How I love to dance before you! (Side note: How do men create such straight lines in the earth?) God was present for the birth of every child who is now an adult. He was the first one to see their faces and count their fingers and toes. (Side note: There’s an all-white desert below me.) I just realized, that life of adventure I’ve always wanted to live for God, I’m living it! I’m going to Thailand in five days! This could never have happened without the grace of God in my life. I just asked God for a best friend on this trip! He replied that one of the girls I’ll be meeting at the airport will be a good friend of mine! A verse to answer my question of why me is 1 Samuel 2:7-8. The Lord maketh poor, and maketh rich: he bringeth low, and lifteth up. He raiseth up the poor out of the dust, and lifteth up the beggar from the dunghill, to set them among princes, and to make them inherit the throne of glory: for the pillars of the earth are the Lord’s, and he hath set the world upon them. Thursday, June 2, 2005 Goals and Expectations Lord, Here are the goals and expectations I have made following the model set down in our trek journal for pre-orientation. My four personal goals are to get into the habit of doing my devotionals consistently (a half hour a day), to learn to cook a Thai dish by bonding with Thai women in their daily work, to minister physical or mental healing where it is needed with bold love, and to release some of the anxiety and stress I carry around with me daily that is counterproductive. I have listed one practical way that I will go about meeting these goals while I am in Thailand. To get into the habit of doing devotionals, I am determined to write in my trek journal everyday. To learn to cook a Thai dish, I will learn some of the Thai language and show an interest in the work the women are doing. I will offer to work alongside them. To minister physical or mental healing, I will prepare myself by reading one scripture a day that has something to do with healing. Lastly, to release some of my anxiety and stress, I will pray the healing scriptures over myself whenever I feel anxious or stressed and attempt to memorize several of them. My expectations for my teammates are that I will develop several close friendships but just one best friend who will be my accountability person. For my staff, I hope that they will mentor me and teach me about living simply and how to deepen my walk with God. I hope they have an openness to the miracle working power of God. For my host friends, I expect that they will want to teach me as much as they want to learn from me. For food, I guess it’s more of a goal but I expect it to be very spicy given what I’ve heard, so I want to acquire a love for spicy food or at least a tolerance. For my living environment, I expect it will be hard on me at first but that I will quickly adjust. I’m looking forward to the challenge of adapting. Lastly, for Christianity in the host culture, I expect it to be westernized. I’ve been told they sing the same songs that we sing, only in Thai. I hope it’s different! That would mean that Christianity is being adapted to their culture and will be more easily transmitted. Jesus replied: “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.” Matthew 22:37 Thursday, June 2, 2005 Concerns and Thanks Lord, Today, looking at the Approaching Differences Diagram (ADD), I have come to realize that while I am being adaptable, as is evidenced by my use of the shower (at least it’s hot) downstairs that looks like something you’d find in a concentration camp in World War II I’m not being very trusting. I’m still really worried about my lack of language skills affecting relationships in Thailand in a negative way. I know I just need to give my fear over to you, God, “and lean not on my own understanding.” Besides, I developed wonderful relationships in Mexico City and know no Spanish, so, Lord, today I give my fear to you. I heard you say, “Brokenness of spirit is what I long for.” What does that mean, Lord? I think of it as meaning depression, but I know that’s not how you mean it. I love the verse, “the spirit of the Lord is upon me because he has anointed me to preach good news to the poor.” Thank you, Lord, for giving me Your spirit. Thank you for giving me a miraculous healing testimony and also training through the School of Theology and through reading several books on how to minister healing. God you provided $3,000 plus extra for me to go on this trip! You provided clothes for me and a flight to L.A. and back twice this month through my parents! God, you are amazing! Without you I am nothing! I would have had to pay for my own college if it wasn’t for you! I wouldn’t even be well enough mentally to do your work if it wasn’t for your grace on my life! I wouldn’t be free of bad dating relationships. I thank you that you prepared this trip for me before the creation of the world. Then he called his 12 disciples together and gave them power and authority over all devils and to cure diseases and he sent them to preach the kingdom of God and to heal the sick. Luke 9:1-2 Thursday, June 2, 2005 The Repairer of the Breach Praise God! I heard this maybe earlier then but at least as early as October of last year. This is the verse our church read and focused on in January as a vision for our church for the New Year! There is one spirit and he speaks the same truth to all men! Lord, teach me to be the repairer of the breach, the restorer of paths to dwell in. Help me to lift up my voice like a trumpet and in boldness speak out truth! Releasing the oppressed and helping the needy brings a promise of healing! I am so excited, Lord! Kevin Blue spoke to us on the Isaiah 58 passage. He said that as Christians it is our responsibility to respond to the need we see around us. We are to provide food for the hungry, clothes for the naked, and loose people from their yokes. Yokes are the structures that keep people in place. Just as yokes keep oxen enslaved to their owners, so natural structures of this world keep the poor in poverty. An example would be banks that don’t offer financial assistance to people with little or no credit. Providing basic necessities is emergency relief. For emergency release to be necessary, there needs to be an emergency. Do we in the middle class perceive the emergency that is present even in our own country? Loving people is messy and inconvenient. Can I treat everyone as if they were my mother, sister, brother, father? The people we are going to meet may not even care about themselves anymore. What would we want someone to do for us? We would want them to care about us and pray for us and not give up on us even if we give up on ourselves. Friday, June 3, 2005 Prayers For the woman at Hospitality House who had a stroke, Lord, I know you will accomplish your purpose for her. Call people together to pray for her. I will include her in my prayers, but, Jesus, please restore to her the mind of Christ! Restore to her the years the locusts have eaten. I bind Satan in the name of Jesus Christ out of her life and speak over her whole and complete healing. Lord, I ask that you would be at work in my Dad’s life constantly drawing him towards and giving him a better understanding of your healing power. I thank you, Lord, that just as your chosen people the Israelites left Egypt with no feeble among them, so too shall my family have no feeble among them because of your anointing. I thank you and praise you for the miracles you have done. I thank you that from this day forth none born in my family shall suffer from the generational curse of bipolar disorder nor any other mental illness! Be with Breck today, Lord, do a miracle and strengthen his heart, his aorta specifically. Lord, I thank you that Breck receives the sayings and wisdom of the Lord and therefore the years of his life shall be many (Proverbs 4:10) Lord, I thank you that you say if I hearken diligently to your voice and observe and do all your commands I shall be blessed in the city! Deuteronomy 28:2-3 Friday, June 3, 2005 Tales of Distant Lands Today a man named Derrick Engall who goes to the church we’re staying in and who does ministry with an organization called Servant Partners in L.A. gave us some statistics and talked to us about a program called LAMP (Language Acquisition Program for Missionaries). The population of Thailand is 64,000,000. Only 22 percent live in urban areas, and 1,600,000 people are coming to the cities each year. There are only 11 urban areas, so they are being overrun by 145,455 new people per city per year! The developing world is rapidly urbanizing. It’s frightening how alike people in poverty are to us. They are no different than we are. Derrick told us about several places he’s been. One was Balik Balik, a city in the Philippines, that is so densely populated that people living in the slums end up living right next to and sometimes even on top of train tracks. Kids there play on the tracks and they have carts that can legally run up and down the tracks, taking people from community to community. If a train comes, the people just jump off the tracks and pull the carts off! Although the carts are legal, these entire settlements are just squatter settlements so the government can bulldoze them at any time. Whenever the government needs the land, they will destroy the entire community. He also told us about a coastal African city that he couldn’t give us the name of because missionaries are not welcome there. It’s a Muslim country. In Islam there is a belief that people are impoverished because Allah wills it so they have no hope for change. The desert keeps rising into the city with dust storms and the wind. Human excrement is just poured into the street and is quickly covered up by the desert or it evaporates. They get needed calories from cooking oil so everything’s cooked in oil and just dripping with it. These places are so far from what I know they seem almost like lands you hear about in fairy tales. This is the fast I choose to release the bonds of the oppressed….. Saturday, June 4, 2005 Human Trafficking Discussion A woman named Kathleen and her husband George are missionaries who helped to start up servant partners in 1993. Kathleen is from the United States but George is from Nhong Sawan, also known as the City of Heaven in Thailand. His parents had six kids. They sent George at age 9 to the city to work because they couldn’t afford to send him to school. George lived with relatives who made him a servant. He didn’t like working for them, so he ran away to live in a temple in a slum. He felt lonely so he joined gangs and eventually led one. Then he worked as a caretaker of a brothel, taking girls to clients, negotiating a price, and then picking the girls up after they were done servicing their clients. He also was responsible for all their medical, nutrition, and clothing needs. George worked with another man. The other man received 60 percent of the girls’ earnings while George received 40 percent. The girls made $50 per man serviced but never saw any of the money. They were free to come or go but they stayed, he said, because their needs were provided for. Most of the women came from other provinces. Abortions were provided for women who got pregnant, but occasionally they would not find out they were pregnant until it was too late to get an abortion. Four children a day are abandoned in Bangkok. Often they are the babies of prostitutes. It’s very difficult for women to get out of prostitution. The alternatives for work are not very good. Prostitution provides much more money. With just two clients a day most women can make more than they would in a month in other professions. Only some women go into prostitution knowingly. Every year, 1.2 million women and children are trafficked into prostitution across Asia and the Pacific. The worst countries are India, Thailand, Taiwan, and the Philippines. Forced prostitution is a form of slavery. Two books that I want to read on the subject of human trafficking are Disposable People and The Natashas. George stopped taking advantage of prostitution when one of the women he was caring for got pregnant, and he had to give the baby to a family he knew. Now he and his wife work with prostitutes trying to help them get out of the bad situation they are in. They also educate groups throughout the developed world about prostitution. They explain that there is a need for alternative jobs for women. One ministry that helps prostitutes is Rahab Ministries. They started a hairdressing shop so that women would have an alternative to prostitution. Sunday, June 5, 2005 Perspectives on Ministry Most people in other countries have a holistic viewpoint of the body and soul, more than we do in the United States. So when they get sick, they attribute it to spiritual causes. Our bodies are very connected to our spirit and our spirits to our bodies. So that’s why giving a bowl of rice to a hungry child is very spiritual! When we minister to others as missionaries, we have to let them own the change process. Transformation doesn’t happen by us but by God. Don’t try to manipulate someone and don’t let them manipulate you. We don’t want to be just resources that others draw from, we want to be in relationship with them so they can get to know God. We have to remember that we are servants who can help to facilitate change, but it is ultimately their choice to change. We’re not responsible for change, but we are responsible for doing what God tells us to do. We should always ask ourselves whether what we’re doing is helping others change processes. What we do either brings God into a situation or shuts God out. As missionaries we are to be agents of transformation. If we are one of the few people in the world who has been blessed enough to be financially stable and spiritually blessed enough to know the truths of God, it is our responsibility to share those truths and our financial resources with others. Verse Romans 12:1-2 or: To whom much is given much is required. Monday, June 6, 2005 We leave for the airport tomorrow morning and unfortunately I am unsure how much access I will have to e-mail during my stay. I will be staying with a host family in a slum community in Bangkok and spending most of my time working with women and children. Two days ago we listened to a presentation on human trafficking by a couple who met and married in Bangkok. The woman was an American missionary working with Servant Partners and her husband is a native Bangkok resident. Her husband's name was George and prior to his acceptance of Christ as his Lord and Savior, he worked as the co-owner of a brothel. He and the other man he worked with would bring the women to a customer and figure out a price. They would then return to pick up the women and bring them back to the brothel. George was responsible for getting food, clothing, and medical care for the 25 women who lived in the house. He became a Christian when he prayed to God for a new job as a truck driver so he could escape the world of prostitution. He told God that if he got the job he would consider giving his life to him. He got the job and began attending a bible study and English classes at a nearby church. One thing I have learned is that no person is beyond God’s love! God provided a way out for George and now George is helping others to find the saving love of Christ. Tuesday, June 7, 2005 A vision confirmed- Part I In my other journal about a year ago, I was in my church praying on the left side of the altar when God gave me a burden to pray for Thailand. I knelt down and as I was praying in tongues, I saw with my eyes closed as you do in a daydream. I saw myself on an airplane that I knew was going to Thailand, walking down the left aisle. In the end seat of one of the left rows there was a person sitting there who had on a plaid shirt that I thought had red in it, with very short hair. The hair was so short I assumed the person was a man but I could not see the person’s face. I asked God if this man was my husband and he said no. He said that I would meet this person on my way to Thailand and this person would help me. As I was getting ready to board the plane today, I thought back to that vision, but then decided that it must be another flight that I would take to Thailand later in my life. Basically I was afraid for what it would mean if the vision was or was not fulfilled because either way it would be incredibly significant to me. I would have deeply questioned my ability to hear God if it was not fulfilled, but if it was, that would mean something significant for my future. I assumed that I would be coming back to Thailand at a later point in my life. I decided not to look and walked down the right aisle straight to the back of the plane where our seats were. Well, today I learned not to assume. A few hours after we had been on the plane a woman came back and was talking to other students in our group. I invited myself into the conversation when I heard the woman say she was a missionary. The woman turned to me and told me her name was Joy and that she had been a nurse-midwife in Thailand. I could hardly believe my ears. If I could pick a dream job, it would be to be a nurse-midwife in Thailand. I had been asking God for some time for confirmation that the dream to be a midwife came from him. I have had many dreams, but my greatest desire is to do what God wants me to do. Tuesday, June 7, 2005 A vision confirmed-Part II As I was writing in my journal, it hit me! Joy was wearing a plaid shirt! I began journaling like crazy! Basically everyone around me was asking me what was wrong. Without answering, I got out of my seat and ran to the front of the plane. Joy had gone back to her seat, and she told me she was sitting in row 48. I got to the left aisle and looked back and there was Joy wearing a plaid shirt sitting in the outermost left row seat! She also had the shortest haircut I’ve seen on a woman. I could not believe my eyes. The vision from God was true! I went back to my seat and asked the others in my group how Joy had known us. A girl named Kayla who was one of the members of our Thailand team said that Joy was friends with one of her sponsors. Her sponsors had told Joy about Kayla and asked her to look for Kayla on her flight. Joy saw one of our leaders, Angela, wearing a cross necklace and asked if we were with Intervarsity’s Global Urban Trek and if a girl named Kayla was in our group. That was how she found us. Joy was the woman who God had sent to help me. I was so overwhelmed by God’s goodness and by his omnipotence and all-knowing character that I had to run to the airplane bathroom and just cry! I was just completely overwhelmed and thankful. God was so real to me in that moment I felt like I could reach out and touch him. I repented of my unbelief and told God that he could have whatever he wanted from my life. I understood what it meant to totally surrender your will to the purposes of God. I felt the fear of God in a good way. To be in awe of him, I felt the way girls must feel when their boyfriends propose to them. Looking at that ring you know that everything you’ve believed to be true about your relationship is real—that is how I felt about my relationship with God when he fulfilled this vision. I knew beyond any doubt that he has plans for me. Tuesday, June 7, 2005 A vision confirmed-Part III I decided to go talk to Joy. I went up to her seat and asked her to come back and speak with me. One of my friends graciously gave up her seat for a half hour while we talked. I told Joy the whole story and she began to tell me about her life and where she was now in her walk with God. She asked if she could pray with me. She prayed for me and for the purpose God has for me in Thailand. She also gave me her e-mail address and phone number since she is going to be in California for a few years to care for her aging parents after this brief trip to Thailand. She told me that she wrote a book about her 40 years in Thailand (she was a missionary kid in Thailand when she was younger and then came back as a missionary herself) called Adventures in Learning to Trust God. I bought it from her. Joy told me several things that I will never forget. One funny thing, she said to me, “You see, Lindsey, I may look white, but I’m Asian on the inside.” I got to ask Joy if she recommended starting a new nonprofit, because my dream was to start a woman’s clinic, or if she thought it would be better to join an existing organization. When I was at IU during the spring semester, the Ambassador from Thailand to the U.S. came to speak at our law school. He recommended joining an existing nongovernmental organization. Joy made the same recommendation. She said that besides the fact that there are already hundreds of NGOs that need help, it’s easier for foreigners to work in already existing organizations because missionaries take a one year furlough to the United States every four years, so if you start an organization yourself, it’s very hard to leave it and there might not be anyone to take over for you. She told me that she lives on $1,000 a month (That’s only $12,000 a year!) and that God always provides for all her needs. She said that every time she goes to the grocery store, the items she needs are on sale! The other quote I’ll never forget is when Joy said, “Every good woman’s steps are ordered by the Lord.” We spent 45 minutes in the Osaka-Kansai airport and I thought of the 10 Japanese students who stayed with us nearly two years ago at our house at IU, which is when this whole journey to Thailand really began. I remember how beautifully those 10 women praised God at Campus Crusade, singing in front of everyone, and how Leslie, the student working for Campus Crusade in Osaka, stayed up talking with me, awakening my spirit to its original calling from the Lord with her stories of Asia’s mission field. Bless Leslie’s obedience to you, Lord. Wednesday, June 8, 2005 All the people have soft gentle speech, wear beautiful colors, have a wonderful sense of hospitality, and live in a tropical climate. Not a bad assignment, I thought. Thailand is my new love. We are finally settled into our room at the Bangkok Christian Guest House. It’s nicer than I expected, beautiful even. The grass in the yard is a different species than at home. They have a cute swing set and beautiful hand-made cards for sale. Many of them are cross-stitched by women and orphans. They each cost 45 baht (a little more than a dollar). Postcards are 5 baht, so you can buy eight for a dollar. That’s a steal but it’s sad because I know their economy is not doing well. Driving in, I could see the rich and poor living side by side. There were a lot of people selling things on the street at midnight. There were two guys, not much older than us, helping with our luggage. We smiled at them, but I guessed they did not speak much English. I felt bad because no one in our group spoke to them, and I did not want to treat them like the hired help. I thought of Breck, my step-dad, and how he always treats everyone with dignity, even those who park his car. I got up my courage and asked one of the guys a question in Thai. I asked him, “Koon cheu aria-ka?” (What is your name?) He told me his name, but I couldn’t understand him. I said my name and he said some other things in Thai. He asked, “Speak Thai?” I shook my head no. It was a short conversation but it felt like a triumph. Wednesday, June 8, 2005, at 9:30 a.m. I awoke at 7 a.m. without my alarm clock and watched the city waking up for about 10 minutes. The most noticeable difference from a United States city was all the elementary school children in their navy and white uniforms and bandanas around their necks that made them look like little boy scouts and girl scouts. I also saw my first monk! I saw a beautiful couple and their son praying in the parking lot. It was one of the most beautiful sights I have ever seen. A missionary man named Ash who is from Australia came to talk to us this morning. He told us that single people are suspected more than families who move into the slums as missionaries. He also told us that Thailand has a circle of trust and that if you get inside it by becoming almost a member of people’s extended family, then you’ll do fine as a missionary in Thailand. If you’re outside of the circle of trust, you will never be accepted. There are two types of mission approaches. One is incarnational ministry where you live in the same neighborhood as the people you minister to, and the other kind is where you live outside the neighborhood. If you live outside the neighborhood it is more difficult to be accepted into the community but if you live in the neighborhood you face harsher living conditions. He explained that the people of Thailand are very spiritual and suspicious. They believe in magic and animism. They believe that by sacrificing to the spirits that the spirits will protect them and not do bad things to them. He explained that although Buddhism is the national religion it is often a very cultural thing such as Judaism in the United States. A lot of what they believe and practice is animism and magic and also a mix of Hinduism and Theravada Buddhism, the oldest kind of Buddhism, which originated in Thailand. He also explained that materialism is as evident in Thailand as it is in the United States, and that materialism causes the poor to buy on credit and causes the extremely wealthy to ignore the cause of the poor. Wednesday, June 8, 2005 The smells of the city are strong, even overwhelming. The good news is if you don’t like a smell, which happens often, you can just keep walking and the gross smell will pass away within a matter of seconds. It’s so different to see so many food vendors on the streets. Even in Mexico City there weren’t this many food vendors. There are open cooking pits and fruit carts, and the streets are narrow and the pavement uneven like Mexico City. Jana said she hadn’t seen a lot of people on cell phones. Thinking back, I realized I hadn’t seen many either. Four of us, Jana, Carrie, Mendell, and I were on a team for our first venture out into Bangkok. We had a list of things to do that would help us learn to navigate the city. We ate at our first Thai restaurant. Ordering was a trick with our limited knowledge of Thai. We also tried to find various places like the sky train and the Starbucks, but for some reason people, Thai men who spoke a little English, kept trying to push us four girls into taking some form of transportation to go shopping. It seemed helpful at first, but it quickly because frustrating! We look like tourists, but that’s not what we are and we don’t want to go shopping. We did manage to visit one monument, the statue of a general, and made it to the Starbucks, which I felt guilty about spending time in, but it was like an oasis in the midst of everything that was so new. Thursday, June 9, 2005 We were shown cards with the girls’ pictures on them or a list of different services they were willing to perform. At one point, a man offered me a male prostitute! Of course I staunchly refused! Some girls who were a little more clothed stood in the doorways as hostesses. Several girls were eating outside the strip clubs wearing silk robes and heels. There was a thriving market for goods like purses right across the way. It was as if offering a purse were comparable to offering a woman—so much for women’s rights. The interesting thing is that in the United States when I think about women who go to bars, and I realize that women in the United States don’t have to, but they are prostituting themselves voluntarily. They dress scandalously and most of the time if guys offer them a few drinks and they think the guy is cute, they’ll go home with him for free. Pat Pong is the oldest and most famous red light district. There were even some children there with their parents when we were walking through! Some were the children of vendors and some were part of tourist families. I can’t imagine bringing my child (when I have one) to this place! It was Mom’s birthday today. I wish I had been able to call her and thank her for raising me the way she did. Thanks to the provision of my parents, every night I sleep in my own bed, in my own room. I don’t have to sleep with men I don’t know to make a living. That sounds crass, but it’s the cold truth. I have never thought of sleeping through the night as a freedom I enjoy. As a woman, I need to demand that for my sisters here in Thailand. We must set a standard. We must expect respect and fight back when we do not receive it. I just pray the men from our country and in our military would not perpetuate this vicious cycle of broken lives. Thursday, June 9, 2005 Tonight I am asleep in a slum. As I lay on my left side, I look out the window from this little loft/storage room at the other flats and the rows of hanging laundry. I am on a mat laid over a folded-over mattress. I sense I have returned to my childhood in many ways. No air conditioning and lots of fans are the most obvious comparison. Doing dishes by hand, eating Asian food upstairs in my grandparents’ apartment, and playing outside most of the time, I was always sweaty and dirty as a child the way I feel now. Khlong Toei is pronounced Clong Toy and is unlike any place I have ever been. To get there from the Bangkok Christian Guest House, we took the subway which was ridiculously clean and then two taxis because the six of us would never have fit in one. We all went into the daycare center in the bottom of Baan Chivit Mai, the NGO where we will be working. We had to remove our shoes at the door because it’s a customary courtesy. I sense this will become a habit. We split up into groups of two and left our luggage at the NGO while we took Terry and Andrew to the house of their host. I use the term house very loosely here. To get there, we walked through an alley between rows of open shacks created from every material imaginable. There are houses that double as food stands and there are stray dogs everywhere! Not to mention stray children! Some are watched attentively by parents but most run around in packs. The kids not the dogs. The real low point was the swamp filled with green algae and garbage that just stunk. Every doorway was open so you could see into most homes from some point. We went back to the NGO and got our luggage (the five girls, four boys, and our leader Angela), and we realized that we would be staying in old, open-air apartment buildings. Despite their decrepit appearance and dangerous wiring—my dad, an electrician, would have had a fit—they were much nicer than where the boys were staying. There is a nice pit of garbage right next to a playgroup that has gobs of children hanging out at it when we were walking past. Sooay (which means beautiful) is the mother who is hosting Jana and Kayla. They have a baby named Baa. I was somewhat disappointed that I won’t be living with Jana, especially since they have a baby in the house. (Side note: There are pregnant women everywhere in the slum!) It is Saturday, but it will be interesting to see how many kids are in school on Monday instead of on the street. Sooay is the name of the mother, but I originally thought that was her daughter’s name. Her 15-year-old daughter’s name is Ploi, and she is very friendly and very skinny! We arrived here around dinner time so they took us to the neighborhood market, and after shopping we went back to Jen and my host mom’s apartment and had a feast. We ate hairy fruit, a plum-looking thing that was really good. We also had Pad Thai, a little spicy, but nothing compared to the peppers I ate in a pepper eating contest at orientation in L.A. We had some kind of fish, white rice, seaweed that was excellent, and some sweet meat dish that I think was beef. We had our feast on the living room floor seeing as there is only one table and it is an end table. There is no dining room. Her bed is separated from the living room by a tall armoire. She does have a cell phone! I have been talking about my host mom, Ma ao, who is 55 and has no husband. I think we met her daughter today but I cannot be sure. I thought about my mom, Mike, Breck, and dad a lot today. First of all, I thought of how they would never survive a day here. I miss my mom the most. I wish I could have told her happy birthday. I thought of how stressed out my mom would be if she knew where I am. Even as my heart sank at the conditions around me, when I saw the people, I gave them real smiles. This apartment building has a beautiful view from the landings between the five flights of stairs. Monday, June 13, 2005 So much has happened. Neighbors of Ma-ao (May-yow), our 55-year-old host, have brought their year-and-a-half-old baby, well, toddler, Mah Tah, over! Most of the past two days when they visited, Mah Tah has eyed us suspiciously although this morning she stood on the couch and hugged Angela, who we now call Angila in the Thai way! But tonight with encouragement from her Mom, she came in and gave me a big hug! We then read (well, pointed at) Winnie the Pooh and another English picture book with Disney characters in it. Her mom brought over a picture album and Mah Tah absolutely loved pointing out all the pictures of herself. Mah Tah with Ing (her sister, I think), Mah Tah Chute Norng! (She would say which means Mah Tah in pajamas!) etc., see cham-poo is pink. I learned that when we were at the daycare this morning. I read an English book of colors with a shy little Thai boy. I didn’t say the English words at all but used the Thai words for colors we learned from Ploi, playing Uno our first two nights. We have since graduated to playing “bahk-gah!” which means pen. We play pens instead of spoons because pens are more plentiful. I really didn’t know some of the colors, but luckily I knew all the primary colors (and green), which were introduced first so by the time we got to the pages where we mixed two primary colors to get a secondary color, I would say the names of the primary colors and the little boy, whose name I shall memorize tomorrow, would offer the secondary color! He was really teaching me, and I was just helping him practice. The colors I learned and have confirmed are orange, see som, som, is also the word for an eatable orange. See moo-ang is purple, see chom-poo is pink, and green, which I already know, is see keeo. Today a little girl, Oh Ing, is 11. A little girl followed our group everywhere today. She was 9 or I think 12. She loved to try to tickle us and liked to be swung as did all the kids in the daycare from the swing that Larkin taught me to make with my arms so long ago. Jana taught a fun new thing. You lock your arms to another person’s, let the child sit on your arms and you raise them up. She called it “fireman.” The kids also loved jumping on the play slide into my arms instead of sliding down it. That’s when I discovered that the little boy I read to wasn’t shy at all! (At least once you get to know him.) None of the kids were in fact. There were nine in the class and before the teacher turned things over to us to play games, they had been very well-behaved. Whenever the teacher rang a bell, they were expected to clasp their hands under their chin in the little kids praying position (I fell asleep writing this entry so it ends early). Sunday, June 19, 2005 I had a frustrating and challenging but interesting night. Jenny and I were invited to Ma-ao’s neighbor’s flat to sing karaoke, which apparently is extremely popular in Thai culture! They put in a Britney Spears music video DVD, which I was immensely uncomfortable with. Mah Tah, the 2-year-old niece of my host mom, was dancing alone and the other girls were dancing to it too. It honestly made me really upset that the whole family was enjoying it together. After that they put in a Tata Young DVD. Tata Young is a very popular Thai pop singer. The song was the most raunchy song I have ever heard in English. They handed us microphones and asked us to sing. I could not believe they wanted me to sing those lyrics. I politely refused pretending I was not a good singer. They were so hospitable feeding us sticky rice and mango. I tried to eat it, but I was so full from dinner. Then the father called someone on his cell phone and handed it to me! They had showed us a picture of a Thai looking guy in American clothing who I thought was a nephew but turned out to be the employer of our host! The voice on the phone spoke perfect English. It was strange to speak to this guy whose name was Andrew. He is from Bangkok but had grown up in Orange County, California. He’s studying international business in Bangkok now. He seemed to be confused that we had chosen to stay in what he called, “The Ghetto” of Bangkok. I tried to explain that we were choosing to love people who are very different from us culturally and in terms of socioeconomic status. He asked if we were trying to convert people to Christianity when I said I was with a Christian Organization. I explained that we were not trying to convert people but rather to learn about their lives and really develop meaningful relationships with people in the slums. Incarnational ministry is a difficult thing to explain. I just felt so strange after this night because I realized that while I don’t belong in Thailand, I’m really not at home in American pop culture. I sort of feel like a wandering traveler and wonder if I truly have a home anywhere on this earth. Perhaps I’m not meant to. Monday, June 20, 2005 My host is a 55-year-old woman named Ma-ao and another Indiana University student lives with us as well. [Editor's Note: Read the ongoing diary of IU Bloomington student Jenny Beach who is also in Bangkok with Lindsey Mederich.] Although Ma-ao lives alone, we are visited every day by various friends and relatives including her sister and sister's family who live on the same floor of the open-air apartment complex, if you can call it that. Often, in the evenings, a crowd will gather outside our door—people from the community who want to see or meet the Farangs (“foreigners” in Thai). My team (half the group I came here with) has had a very smooth transition into the community. The heat is not so terrible after a week of it. Thai culture is very focused on hospitality, and we have been given seats close to the air conditioning (when they have it, not often), fruit at every meal (a treat!), and traditional Thai wraps to wear before taking our bucket showers and while we do our laundry by hand. I am learning so much and although the conditions are far from anything I have ever experienced on earth, God is very present here. Tuesday, June 28, 2005 I will start with some positive experiences. On Friday, I had the chance to visit the other half of our team and learn how to make sticky rice. I cannot wait to make this most heavenly of desserts when I return! I also learned a great deal about Buddhism this week and also experienced my first tropical storm! (I love thunderstorms, but the wild gusts of wind were enough to send even my weather-loving self indoors!) As for the trying experiences, I will just kind of list them and add a few details. It would take pages of writing and words I don't have to explain how I felt. On Friday, I witnessed a case of domestic abuse first-hand. A 20-year-old, mentally handicapped woman named "Oh," whom I have come to know and love, even during my short time here, was dragged away from the community center by her family and husband, kicking and screaming. The employers at the center and the men from our group did what they could to try to stop it. We did not have the victory that night. On Sunday, we visited a Christian home and rehabilitation center for abandoned children with disabilities and specifically cerebral palsy. The facilities are absolutely beautiful, and the children happy and healthy. Although it is a locally run establishment, many donations come from foreign sources. Physical therapists, teachers, and professional caretakers make up the 24-hour staff. Each child has his or her own crib or bed during their stay in the home, however long. Many have been adopted by families from all over the world. For a comparison, on Monday we visited a government orphanage for abandoned children with disabilities. I have to say that the hours we spent at the orphanage were some of the most difficult and also most wonderful of my entire life. There were at least 50 children lying on mats on the floor in one room alone. Upstairs in one room, there were as many babies in cribs. In one of the cribs, there were two boys who looked like they were two years old, but I was told they were much older. One was banging his head against the side of the crib, but when I rubbed his back and sang to him, he stopped. There aren't words to tell the way his face changed as he soaked up my love like a little sponge left in the desert. The other little boy who shared his crib had open wounds and bed sores but he smiled the instant I touched his hand and never cried despite his pain the whole time we were there. This morning, I visited several families with the daycare teacher from Baan Chivit Mai. The seriousness of the poverty is inescapable. The conditions that half the people in our community live are not considered acceptable for animals in the United States. |
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I hope to delve deeper into the causes of poverty and gain a deeper understanding of economic systems worldwide. I also hope to learn about the first missionaries who came to Thailand and were responsible for the establishment of the economic and medical systems they have today. 
The first thing I saw was the lights, many of them. Jana (my new best friend) pointed them out. As we touched down I closed my eyes and smiled and felt at peace. God said, “Welcome home.” “Thanks,” I replied. 
The First Day
Daytime Immersion
We went to Pat Pong last night. It’s strange to see both men and women selling women. It seemed like every other door we walked past was a strip club with at least 15 girls in thongs and bras and heels dancing on counters. All the music was American pop and dance music. It was very surreal. 
First Night in Khlong Toei
Dear God,
A Difficult Night
I am in Bangkok! I am writing from the Bangkok Christian Guest House where we spend 24 hours each weekend. This past week I have actually been living in a flat, in a slum in Bangkok called Klong Toey. 
Our schedule has been packed with experiences. I didn't know that so much activity could fit into nine days. I also know that I will never be the same after what I have seen this past week. 
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